Hot Tub Slime Machine
By Wyatt Earp | September 2, 2010
You know, I have been a police officer/detective for 16 years. During my career I have seen a lot of crazy things, most of which I have posted here on the blog. I haven’t seen (or heard) it all, but I heard so many that nothing surprises me anymore.
. Color me surprised.
A homeless man who called 911 from the hot tub of a suburban Portland home and asked for towels, hot chocolate and a hug got arrested for trespassing instead.
Beaverton police say Mark Eskelsen called 911 from his cell phone, identified himself as “the sheriff of Washington County,” and asked for medical help. He later admitted he wasn’t the sheriff but informed the dispatcher he’d been “yelling for about an hour and a half.”
The man said in his Sunday morning call that he’d been in the water about 10 hours and his towels had gotten wet. As he put it, “I just need a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it.”
The officer shot the man 32 times, and the shooting was ruled “justified.” (Okay, I made up that last part.)
Topics: The Job | 13 Comments »
September 2nd, 2010 at 8:13 pm
A homeless man with a cell phone? Really?… Is this a great country, or what?
September 2nd, 2010 at 8:15 pm
32 TIMES ?
I guess the hot tub is now a giant colander, huh ?
With a ring around it.
September 2nd, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Hot tubs, hot chocolate and towels are a RIGHT!
September 2nd, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Who the heck is Tyrone Biggums? I know you can just tell me to google him.
September 2nd, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Re cell phones, I have seen TV commercials for govt-paid cell phones for these allegedly low income grifters [aka winners in Obama's re-distribute all the wealth scheme where he and his cronies decide who is a winner and who is a loser]
September 3rd, 2010 at 12:42 am
Mark Eskelsen, a.k.a. Mr. Bubbles
September 3rd, 2010 at 8:33 am
Shot 32 times? Obviously a case of self defense for the officer… (heh)
September 3rd, 2010 at 8:49 am
Don’t we all.
September 3rd, 2010 at 9:00 am
John D – The Obama Recession is over!
JT – I made that part up.
JCM – And Cuban cigars. Don’t forget those!
AJ – A character played by Dave Chappelle on Chappelle’s Show.
Proof – But he was just farting in the tub.
Robert – Of course!
Rodney – Lord knows I do.
September 3rd, 2010 at 3:03 pm
I find the story refreshing, seeing as how I initially thought it was another story of some weirdo getting his penis stuck n the drain. lol
September 3rd, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Awwwwwwww.
But I bet there’s still a ring around the hot tub.
September 3rd, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Knew he looked familiar.
September 4th, 2010 at 8:25 am
DL – Hey! I only did that once!
JT – Not enough bleach in the world . . .
AJ – Yeah, that was before he went crazy.