Death Race 2001
By Wyatt Earp | May 5, 2011
According to an article in Vanity Fair, celebs Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor, and Marlon Brando were in NYC on 9-11. When the terror attacks began, the three of them allegedly jumped into a car and drove west, ending up in Ohio.
I really hope this is a true story because it may be the funniest thing I have read in years.
Cooped up together for 500 miles were three of the world’s biggest and most charismatic stars – Dame Elizabeth Taylor, Marlon Brando and Michael Jackson. The trio are said to have embarked on their journey to flee New York in a hire car the day after the 9/11 terror attack.
Fearing a follow-up attack, the trio first sought refuge in New Jersey, according to one of Jackson’s former assistants. From there they undertook a 500-mile odyssey across America – with Brando and Jackson behind the wheel and stopping only to fuel up on Burger King and KFC – until they finally reached a mystery destination in Ohio.
Can you imagine these nitwits crammed in a car at the Burger King Drive-Thru, arguing whether 100 Whoppers would be enough?
Topics: WTF? | 16 Comments »
May 5th, 2011 at 2:08 pm
I’m just trying to figure out which one had more plastic on their face.
May 5th, 2011 at 2:16 pm
That would have been one heluva ride, if I had enough Xanax.
May 5th, 2011 at 2:21 pm
I wonder if the hire car needed new shocks after Brando????
May 5th, 2011 at 2:22 pm
My God that would make a funny movie!!!!
May 5th, 2011 at 3:13 pm
They’re reliving it now in purgatory.
May 5th, 2011 at 4:22 pm
The only one missing was Liza Minnelli.
“Easyrider” this was not.
May 5th, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Where is the rest of the joke? What is the punchline? This was a joke, right? Right? I’m confused.
May 5th, 2011 at 7:48 pm
If it’s not true, I don’t want to know.
I’m picturing Michael Jackson behind the wheel wearing his sequined glove, Liz is in her Cleopatra getup – they’re arguing whose turn it is to pump gas at the next stop. Marlon Brando’s oblivious, he’s sitting in the backseat dressed like the Godfather, scarfing down buckets of KFC extra crispy and mumbling to himself. Chicken bones, soda cans, and empty french fry wrappers litter the floor. Roadtrip heaven!
May 5th, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Marlon Brando’s oblivious, he’s sitting in the backseat dressed like the Godfather, scarfing down buckets of KFC
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2 things came to my mind when I read this…..
Remember John Belushi as an obese Elizabeth Taylor on SNL scarfing down chicken while doing an interview ? And chewing with her mouth open ? And choking ?
On the old Dennis Miller Live show on HBO, at the end he would “Do the News” by reading captions to pictures.
The pic was a bunch of firehoses filled with water all crisscrossed.
And Dennis said “It’s spaghetti night at Marlon Brando’s house.”
May 5th, 2011 at 8:55 pm
What kind of automobile will fit Liz Taylor and Marlon Brando side by side?
May 5th, 2011 at 9:05 pm
http://chuckwhite.com/photogallery/GlacierPhotos/WorldsBiggestTruck.jpg
May 5th, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Am I the only one around here old enough to remember when Hollyweird had decent Americans working there? I know I date myself, but I do remember the days of yore when, in seeing a need to help, actors/actresses (I know, not PC) would jump into the fray and help out. Read up on Lee Marvin, USMC; Jimmy Stewart, US Army Air Corps; Charles Durning, US Army.
A pity we do not have more like them. Gary Sinese seems to be th eexception these days.
May 5th, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Am I the only one around here old enough to remember when Hollyweird had decent Americans working there?
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(JT looks left, looks right…..)
Yep, it’s all you Grandpa.
Uhh… there’s James Garner, Neville Brand, Audie Murphy, of course, and Yogi Berra gets an honorable mention for driving an LST during the D-Day landings.
(Picture THAT.)
And a shitload of others.
Or as Hollywood says, “A cast of thousands”.
Ed McMahon.
Ted Williams.
Hank Bauer, with “a face like a clenched fist”. ( I love THAT one.)
Let us not forget Pat Tillman and his brother, and again, a shitload of men and women who aren’t famous in Hollywood, but when ya think about it, maybe that’s even more to their credit.
May 5th, 2011 at 10:27 pm
Kim – Liz; because she was trying to eat the dashboard.
Roger – And vodka.
Dustyvet – Probably arrived with four flat tires.
Sully – The Hangover III.
Bob – There was no point in fleeing the city. They’re still dead. (Yeah, I’m going to Hell.)
RT – LIZA!!!
Jim – The most bizarre story I have ever read.
Mrs. Crankipants – And a greasy hand print on Liz’s ass . . . and Michael’s!
JT – I remember that. Coughed up the chicken bone!
L Frame – Humvee?
JT – Well played.
Robert B. – Yeah, not a lot of them around these days.
May 5th, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I’ve heard that Brando was considering a remake of Mobey Dick, with Brando as the great white whale…:)
May 6th, 2011 at 10:15 pm
DustyVet – Liz must have been his stand-in.